Memphis Mike

Well howdy all, Memphis Mike here. The kind peoples of thefuckallthatpress have given me some air time to git me opinions across to you hoo boys in da ukay!
I don't know about yoo hoo boys but i'm sick and tired of all the sheeyaaat that is going down in the land of the freeee.
Jus de other day I was out down the mini mart to git me a quart of milk and the dude behind the counter asked me 'if there was anything else I wanted', wot de fuck! Mudder fudder!
I bin going down the same mini mart for 250 yeerrrrrrrrrrrss and no mudder fudder dare talk to a good ol' boy like that before. So I did wot cum natural to us southern boys and I pull out his dick and bit eeeeeeettttttttttt off!
Now I'm doing me a stretch in pen, I don't know whats wrong wid di here world we be livin eeeeeen.
I remeber when a day wouldn't be seen as bein normal without a itty bitty of dick bitin' off. Mudder fudders got me on a sex charge of all things. A sex charge I don't even like Koreeeeeens for pete's sake. Mudder fudders.
Any ol how I'm passin' the time until I get me court date with this lawyer who got me on the fence or summit. He says he can get me out in 20 weeks. 20 weeks! Mudder fudder.
My room mate don't tork too much, but he be okay i guess. Seems to make a lot of farm animal noiseys, but that ok wit me, it bein a freeeee cuntry n'all. But if he keep doooin that strange clicky sound like he did last night, well, I'm going to have to make that mudder fudder pay like a hungry buzzard on a slave's corpse. Guddamit, he be doin' dis weird kinda clicky sound all fuddin' night long. Yep das it, I here decided i'm gonna give him agood Memphis Mike rape tonight. Besdies me scrote is full to the brim with cock snot and it is going to pop if i don't do summit proper wid it. So clicky boy gona get a New Jersey turnpike full of Memphis moss. Cotton pickin varmit. he sure do have purdy mouth that sexy liddle mudder fudder.