And he's off! By literature correspondent Barry Git, taken from this morning's edition of The Penge Cock Snot

Mr. Paul Brown Esq, is on the move! Now that the tfatp HQ in Penge is being reposessed, Paul has had to move out. As he is famous for his charming poetry, he is retiring to the beautiful countryside of Cambridgeshire. How a born and bred South Londoner with a penchant for self abuse will get on in rural East Anglia is anyone's guess, I'm giving him 2 months before he goes mad and takes out the postman with a double barrel shot gun.
To keep him company, Jim MacMarran has also left London and will be taking up residence, once again in Paul's mind.
Winston Mullins and Simon are both staying put in South London to work on The Damned book (like that will ever see the light of day), Paul will be helping via the odd drunken phone call at 3.30am on a work night when Simon will not answer the phone.
Winston, who was Jim's right hand man had this to say "It's the best thing for all of us, Paul is fucking mad and I'm glad to be shot of the cunt. Jim is just a total fucking wanker, so yeah, I'm chuffed to bits, I've always been the talent anyway, now I'll flourish without their chains holding me back. I'm in charge now, Rance is a fuckwit, he needs guidance to go for a shit, so I'll be writing all the good stuff, besides I am the creator of the On The Buses stuff and let's be honest that's the best fucking thing on here. The book? About The Damned? never heard about it... Which means it's going to be shit. Rance and Brown writing a book? Fuck off, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... Those two doss cunts? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I shit 'em"

Simon is mourning as Paul, his muse, leaves for the country. "I don't know, maybe I'll write another book about football that no one will read. Or maybe I'll just drink and smoke tabs. Oh fuck off, who are you? I don't want a bible, fuck off you joho!"

It's the end of an era that's for sure, how the press will cope being in two base camps is anyone's guess, is this the end of the urban scribes of the 22nd century? Let's hope so.