On The Buses Retire in Cambridgeshire featuring Jim MacMarran, Winston Mullins and Terry & June.

A retirement home in Cambridgeshire. Blakey and Butler are room mates in the terminal wing.
June walks in, she is no longer a star of a (s)hit comedy show, she now cleans old men's arses for a living.

June. Wakey, wakey.

Butler. Go fuck yourself, you fucking whore cunt.

June. That's not the spirit Stan, come now.

Blakey. Yeah, aaaahhhhh, ahhhhhh, Butler, that's not the spirit, aaaahhhh. Go on, clean his areshole, he kept me up all night farting, dirty fucker, aaahhh, aahhhhh.

Butler. Listen cunt, you and your two bob snoring ways keeps the whole retirement home up, at least when I fart it makes you unhappy, which in turn cheers up everyone else...You cunt!

June. Enough boys, now come on, I've got to change you Stan.

Butler. For fuck's sake, I'd rather lay in my own shit and piss than have your cunt lapping fingers around me bummer. You fucking dirty cunt.

Blakey. Ahhh, aaahhh, aaahhh.

Butler. Can't you say anything else you stupid old cunt?

Blakey. Yeah, your a cunt, aaah aaahhh.

June takes off Stan's nappy, the stench is rank.
Terry walks in, he is now a cleaner.

Terry. Cor, fuck me, what is that.

Blakey. Asaaaah, aaaahhh.

Butler. will you fuck off please, your wife is trying to get me kit off so she can blow me, you cunt.

Terry. You fucking cunt, I'll have you killed.

Butler. You and who's army you fat cunt?

Blakey. Ahhh. aaahhhhh.

Butler. Will someone shut that cunt up please? Fucking cunts, all of ya!

Terry. You shit bag, you shit yourself again? Ha ha ha.

Butler gets up, swings a left hook onto June's noz, takes the shit filled nappy and sticks it in Terry's mush. Terry dies. June is bleeding.

June. You can't hit a woman!

Blakey. He didn't aaah aaah aaaah.

June gets up off the floor and spits blood in Blakey's face.

Blakey. Oh no, she's given me the TB, filthy cunt, aaaah aaaah.

June takes the breaks off Blakey's wheel chair and rolls him towards the window, which is on 97th floor. Blakety falls to his death.

Butler. Good work cunt head.

Little and Large enter with Winston and Jim, they all rape June.
The End